The U.S. recently passed a bill making gay marriage legal nationwide. This issue is an interesting one to me because I have many conflicting opinions on it. On one hand I believe what the Catholic Church teaches about sexuality which I’ll explain. On the other hand I absolutely believe that gay people are discriminated against. They are treated differently both on a personal level and in legislation because of their sexuality. When we define marriage the way we do in North America (which I don’t believe is proper), we must make gay marriage legal, if we do not, it is absolutely discrimination. First I will explain what I believe about sex and why, then I will explain why we have been defining marriage wrong for a very long time.
I believe sex has a purpose or goal and that goal is children. That is the main function of sex and a secondary purpose is an expression of a particular kind of love. Love does not need to be sexual. You can love someone without sex being a part of it and that love is not less than sexual love, just different. Marriage is the same as sex, it’s purpose is to create and rear children. I also believe that marriage is the only proper place for sex to take place. In an ideal world every kid would be born from and raised by their parents. There would be no need for adoption (as great as I think it is in our broken world) because every kid would be raised by their biological parents. This is what I believe sex is and the reason it exists which you can agree or disagree with. (Also notice that explanation of my belief has nothing to do with God or religion.)
The prevailing christian idea of sex is much different than my idea of sex. Many christians oppose gay marriage while maintaining that artificial contraception is morally acceptable. This is where I believe homosexual people are discriminated against. If artificial contraception is ok, then sex is something people engage in primarily for pleasure and secondarily for procreation. Many Christians still believe sex is only for marriage, however for many of them the belief that “sex is only acceptable in marriage” is their only concrete moral belief about sex and marriage. The question it raises is “why is sex only for marriage?” If the reason is having and raising children then artificial contraception undermines the purpose of sex and marriage for many Christians. In Principle, artificial contraception is anti-children and anti-monogamy.
No Fault Divorce
Many christians also believe that no fault divorce is morally acceptable. If no-fault divorce is morally acceptable then it follows that marriage is not a permanent union. If this is the case it destroys the argument that marriage is about children, in that children need both a Mom and a Dad. This is the most common argument I hear against gay marriage. I actually agree with the argument that children need both a Mom and Dad, but the state of marriage in our modern world (i.e. No fault divorce) cannot support such an important argument. The solution I see would be to have stricter regulations surrounding marriage to lower divorce rates. If people viewed marriage as a permanent union when they got married, rather than having such an easy escape hatch, they would appreciate it more. I believe they would work harder at marriage and put more thought into who they are marrying.
I realize my beliefs about sex and marriage are more traditional or conservative, I also realize that many people disagree with this view. A majority of people in the United States do not believe any of what I said above. The role of government in a democratic state is to do what the majority wants. It is not to be concerned with what is morally right or wrong, only the majority vote (Which is why I don’t care for the democratic system). So I believe it was the governments obligation to legalize gay marriage in the states.
Many people say “God wants us to be loving and accepting” and that is more important. What is clearly most important to God is children.
“If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” – Matthew 18:6
In order to change the tides and create a country (in both Canada and the U.S.) that is more in line with the natural law and what God would want, we need to focus on children. The first thing we need to do is as a society, to stop talking about children as some kind of burden. We need to stop treating them as second class citizens and celebrate the birth of a child! We also all need to be more like children too, joyful, innocent and fun loving so we can appreciate those characteristics more. How many white haired church people treat the youth as an annoyance in “their” church. As Christians who believe in traditional marriage we need to start with the way society defines children long before we deal with how society defines marriage.